Dr. Darcy Smith on femme vs. butch | GO mag

Dr. Darcy:

I will be a femme and have always been advised that I seem ‘straight’, whatever this means. Once I visit lesbian pubs Im terminated as ‘bi-curious’ or perhaps the ‘friend-of-a-lesbian’ girl. We have two concerns:

1) really does becoming a lesbian mean that i have to butch myself up to be given serious attention?

2) Are there different women who tend to be into fashion, hip restaurants, and that happen to be essentially stylish brand new Yorkers, for whom becoming homosexual isn’t their own whole identification?

It’s not just you!

I have had this question posed in my experience continuously. It isn’t easy staying in a residential district and feeling hidden, but changing your appearance shouldn’t have to function as the answer. I’m not stating I never really had a Brittany minute in which I questioned the importance of long hair, the need for still another set of Manolos, together with potential change dropping both would have back at my experience in this neighborhood. But as I’ve said before, how you can transform a stereotype just isn’t through conformity. The feminist action ended up being designed to give us alternatives, perhaps not limit them.

Having said that, I think there are various other lesbian and bisexual women that have various interests including patronizing the “Page Six” organizations and spending obscene quantities of cash to sit down according to the camping tents of Fashion month. As a resident brand-new Yorker, my personal recommendation is always to look in this very journal for any club-like venues, and that’s in which you will find femmes in figures!

Meanwhile, buy yourself a season of

The L Word

, throw-on that face mask you not have time for, and relish the recognition that the figures make available to those of us that are femme on key. In order to end up being safe, get rid of the buzzer for those who have one, least you find yourself in a weak minute.

Email questions to dr.darcysmith@gmail.com or phone 212-604-0144*

*By publishing questions, the writer acknowledges that she’s got no rights of privacy hence the woman concern of a variation thereof could be printed in GO Magazine.  Communication between Dr. Darcy Smith and an author will not constitute a therapeutic union and this type of a relationship and also the rights/privileges involving such is only able to be set up through a scheduled, personally period.